My mom and dad have always been servants for God. My dad served God through his clown ministry. He loved children, and when he retired from Ford Motor Company he decided that he wanted to minister to children through clowning. We joked that he had always been a clown, but now he had a uniform. He took the name "Speedy", and a green snail for a mascot.
On March 18th 1997 we received one of those early morning phone calls that every one dreads. I knew even before I answered it that this day was going to be a turning point in my life. Sure enough, it was Mom calling, and she told me that she and my father were at the hospital. My dad was having a heart attack. She said that we needed to hurry.
My husband and I got up, threw clothes on, and sped to the hospital. The drive seemed to take forever. We began to pray for my father, and for all of us. I prayed that no matter what happened God would use this to glorify Himself. That is what dad would want. My dad was a very giving, loving servant for God, and the last thing he would have wanted is for me to turn angry with God for taking one of my best friends from me.
We approached the hospital and the shadowed drive up to it seemed even darker than common, and abandoned. I know it simply reflected my feelings. I had prayed that my friend Cindy would be on duty, because I knew she would be praying for this man, even though she wouldn't know he was my father.
Our every footfall echoed through the halls. It felt that every step we took only put us further from our destination. I spotted my weeping mom, looking frail and weak, outside of a door leading to a trauma room. We were not allowed to go in to see Dad. Mom said that his heart had just stopped and they were reviving him for the fifth time since their arrival.
My friend Cindy walked from my dad's room. She announced that he was alive, and that we could go in. My dad lay on a cold bed with plastic tubes strung everywhere, and monitors beeping. For the first time in my life I saw fear and concern on my dad's face. It was not fear or concern for himself. I knew he feared for all of us. I knew he had much to say to us, but was unable to speak because of the airway in his throat, and was too weak to speak the volumes he had on his mind. I began to tell him how much we all loved him. I did my best to comfort him like he had me throughout my life. I stroked his face, and remembered him as a young man before he had wrinkles. I recalled the security I felt in his strength. I spoke to him of the blessing that God had showered on us by giving him to all of us. I wanted him to know that he was loved and that his departure from this earth would leave a gaping hole in our lives, and that the life that he lived would leave a lasting impression on all of the lives that he had touched.
As we waited those few hours praying over him I watched Dad's struggle between leaving the ones he loved, and returning home to live an eternity with God in heaven. Selfishly I wanted to tell him he couldn't leave me, I wasn't ready to let him go, but I knew that it was God's perfect timing. To rob my dad of that, were I able, would be a selfish gesture and benefit no one.
The time arrived when the alarm sounded. Even through the pain of letting him go I could hear the trumpets blowing a welcome for my dad, and the angels singing him into the kingdom. The day my father left to be with Jesus was the day I vowed I would never stop growing with Jesus, that nothing would stop me from being all that I could be for God. I vowed that my life, my ministry, and all that I could be would be a reflection of God's love. I would carry on what my father showed me, what he had begun in me. I would be a server of man, and a lover of God in every way.
We gathered in the vase room of the mortuary to greet those who came to pay their last respects to my dad, to "Speedy". A friend of Dad's told a story for which I will forever be grateful, and will always remember. My father was entertaining in a circus one evening when an announcement went out that a small girl had become separated from her parents. The parents were directed to the hospitality room to rejoin their daughter. When the parents arrived they found "Speedy" on his knees talking with the young girl. He had asked her to help him find his misplaced fingers that he had lost in his glove. As he played this out the young girl lovingly helped this poor clown locate his fingers and get his glove back on properly. She forgot how scared she was that she had lost her parents. The parents entered cautiously, feeling as though they were interfering in a very sacred moment. When the young girl saw her parents she went running to them, and leapt to the security of their arms. "Speedy", feeling good that he helped his new young friend, smiled as the family was reunited. Suddenly as the family was leaving the room the young girl pulled from her parents and ran to her new friend "Speedy" and gave him a big hug. This was God's love shinning through my dad and his clown character, Speedy. This was my dad, and one of my best friends.
Today my love for God is greater than it ever has been, my counseling/consulting ministry is bigger than ever, and I look for opportunities to share God's love with others. I know God speaks to me, and shows me things for myself and for others. I know that God has more for me. I use the story of my dad, and the lives of my parents at every opportunity to glorify God, and to speak of His love.
My father's life with my mother showed me what I won't settle for, and that God's love for each of us is more precious than anything else, because everything else on this earth is temporary.
I will see my dad again in heaven someday. When I do it will be a great reunion. Dad was a great carpenter, and I can see him helping God to prepare my mansion. Together with my mother, my husband, my children, my grandchildren, and hopefully all my loved ones we will be dancing and praising the Lord. On that fateful morning as I drove to the hospital I made a decision that nothing would deter me from my relationship with God. I decided that no matter what was happening around me, no matter what the circumstances, I would continue to speak of the love of God, and seek to grow in His love.
If you don't know Jesus as your personal savior, and if you don't have a personal relationship with God, please don't wait another minute. This one might be the last minute you have. The call that the next person receives at 1:30 in the morning may be concerning you. God has a plan for you, and his plan doesn't involve you being "good enough". It involves you knowing that you are not "good enough". That is why He sent Jesus to die for you and your sins long before you were ever born, so that you could have eternal life with Him. When He looks at you, he sees a handcrafted masterpiece that is as beautiful as any other that has been created.
I will leave you with a question. Is your life so perfect, so peaceful, so abundant, so wonderful, so alive, and so joyful, that you couldn't use a savior?
